I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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