ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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