put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
