Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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