And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
