I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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