and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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