tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I licked your asshole in confidence.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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