We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
