I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
