Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
