you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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