Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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