I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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