Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Randomize
