God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I can feel your judgement through the phone
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
