My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
