You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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