Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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