wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
