No awkward lesbian experiences without me
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I think I sprained my soul last night
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
