Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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