You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
