it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
