im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Will exercising make me less horny?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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