Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
