Dual....:-)
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
