my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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