my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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