Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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