My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
