Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
