When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
