I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
