No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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