His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
