the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
