omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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