so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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