He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
