So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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