..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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