Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
