Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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