Don't make out with my wife yet
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
