Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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