Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
