i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
