I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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