He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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