Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
