she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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